Dancing with the Stars 5, October 8: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Hips

Tom and Drew open the show. The couples are introduced and I laugh at Wayne’s mustache.

Dancing first tonight are Sabrina & Mark. Sabrina questions Mark’s choreography; she wants to win, darn it. She tells him that she trusts him.

They’re doing the jive to “Shake, Rattle, and Roll.” The couple’s steps are crisp. Sabrina smiles the entire time and Mark does the worm. My only advice would be for her to watch her lines and extend them as much as she can.

Len tells the couple that he didn’t like their “free Willy” steps. And exactly what is he referring to when he says “Willy”? Bruno tells Sabrina her power is incredible. Carrie Ann says that the jive suits Sabrina.

All three of the judges give the dance a nine. Sabrina & Mark have 27 points.

Up now are Edyta & Cameron. Cameron doesn’t want to tie with other couples again; he wants to step up his dancing. Edyta meets him on the set of All My Children in order to practice.

They are performing the tango to “The Beat Goes On.” I don’t know if it’s because this dance followed the jive, but it feels slow to me. Cameron gets into the character of the routine and his posture is good, but I’m not feeling the dance. He must be happy with it though; he carries Edyta to the judges’ table.

Carrie Ann says the dance was G-rated, but she liked it anyway. Len comments on Cameron’s posture. Bruno calls Cameron a lady-killer. Len and Bruno argue.

Carrie Ann and Bruno award the couple an eight. Len gives it a seven. Edyta & Cameron have 23 points.

The next couple is Kym & Mark. Mark wants to make the audience happy. Kym worries about Mark doing the jive on his hip. She also calls him The Cubanator.

They’re dancing to “New Shoes.” Early into the dance, Mark isn’t in sync with Kym, plus he has the same look on his face that he had for his other performances. I don’t know if it’s the cold medicine or not, but this dance falls short for me.

Bruno tells Mark that he was more in control tonight, but lost it a bit. Carrie Ann says that Mark should watch his shoulders and not dance so much with his face. (I sometimes snap with my snap.) Len thanks Mark for being entertaining and notes that he is developing.

Carrie Ann gives Kym & Mark a six while Len and Bruno give them a seven. The couple has 20 points.

Jennie & Derek are ready to dance. We’re reminded of Jennie & Derek’s fall from last week. She was certainly disappointed in herself, but she has no reason to be ashamed; I can’t walk in bare feet without falling and she’s dancing in heels. Jennie does promise to redeem herself.

They are doing the tango to an instrumental piece. The music is perfect for the dance. Jennie’s lines are fantastic. At one point, she walks and kicks her legs. Her acting ability also comes into play; the expression on her face matches the tone of the tango. So far tonight, this is my favorite dance.

Oh, did those two crazy kids just smooch at the end of the routine? Cute.

Len gives Jennie props for her sharp and tangy dance; he compares it to a pickle. Carrie Ann gives Jennie a standing ovation. Bruno tells Jennie to be proud.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the routine a nine. Len gives it an eight. The couple has 26 points.

Up next are Mel & Maksim. Mel says that she enjoys ballroom dancing. Maksim is choreographing a Vegas-style show; he and Mel practice in front of the performers. Maksim looks hot.

They’re dancing the jive to “Sweet Soul Music.” The routine features a lot of hip shaking and sharp moves. Mel does a couple of splits and Maksim wiggles his hips. The couple does a series of arm twists. I’m impressed.

Bruno says that Mel is excitement on legs. I’m a writer on cold medicine. Len tells Mel that the jive was her best dance. Carrie Ann agrees with Len and Bruno.

Each of the judges gives Mel & Maksim a nine. The couple has 27 points.

While Mel & Maksim are talking to Drew backstage, Drew makes a joke about Maksim’s skimpy shirts. Maksim removes his vest-like shirt. Women and men everywhere applaud. Hey, now!

The next couple is Cheryl & Wayne. Wayne says that being in the bottom two last week was humbling. Speaking of being humble… Wayne shows his ranch to Cheryl; it is unlike any ranch I’ve ever seen. The couple practices in what is undoubtedly horse poop.

Tonight, they’re doing the tango. Wayne, who is still sporting his moustache, is doing better tonight, but I give credit for it to Cheryl’s choreography; once again, she puts together a dance that he can do. Also, she does most of the dancing and he simply keeps up with her.

Carrie Ann tells Wayne that he created a character and stayed in tune with it. Bruno notes that Cheryl led Wayne during the dance. Len says something about Wayne looking like Puss in Boots from Shrek. Ha! A woman in the audience moans, so Len says, “I’m sorry, lady.” Double ha!

All three of the judges give Cheryl & Wayne a six. The couple has 18 points.

Drew is now wearing a moustache; he looks like Fu Manchu. Wayne says that he has lost almost 20 pounds since dancing with Cheryl. Cheryl tells Drew that not only is Wayne a great entertainer, but he’s a great guy as well and she has enjoyed working with him. My boyfriend says that it sounds like she wants out of there. I agree.

The next couple in the spotlight is Karina & Floyd. Floyd says that there is no dance he can’t do. Karina says that he’s excited about the jive.

They are performing to “Mess Around.” Floyd is energetic, but he needs to watch his lines and be lighter on his feet. He and Karina do a movement that involves thrusting their pelvises into each other. I think it’s time for Yoko to go to bed.

Len tells Floyd that he can dance the dance, but he should stop practicing in sneakers. Carrie Ann wants Floyd to work on the structure of future dances. Bruno says that Floyd should polish his technique.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give the dance a seven. Karina & Floyd have 21 points.

The next dance is from Jane & Tony. Jane talks about her mother’s death. She says that she’s channeling everything she has into her dance tonight. She and Tony dedicate their performance to her mom.

They are doing the tango to another song that I don’t recognize. I really wish ABC would post the names of the music ahead of time. In any case, you can see the emotion in Jane’s face. Her movements are smooth and in sync with Tony’s.

Bruno gives his condolences to Jane and says that her performance was wonderful. Len says that her dance could have been on pay-per-view (referring to Floyd’s upcoming fight, which is on pay-per-view). Carrie Ann becomes emotional and says that every moment of Jane’s dance was beautiful. Darn you, Carrie Ann. At least I have tissues nearby.

All of the judges give the dance a nine. Jane & Tony have 27 points.

Julianne & Helio are up now. The two practice right after last week’s results show. Yikes. Unfortunately, Helio hurts himself during practice. Let’s see how his foot holds up tonight.

They are dancing the jive to “Kids in America.” The routine is energetic and fast-paced. Helio looks like a natural. At the end of the dance, Helio shows us his pants; he tore out his knee and is a little bloodied up.

After making sure that Helio is OK, Carrie Ann says that Helio has a few moments in which he crumbles; he needs to work on those. Bruno tells Helio that he wasn’t on tonight. The audience boos. Len points out a few of Helio’s errors.

The judges each give the dance an eight. Julianne & Helio have 24 points.

The last couple to perform tonight is Marie & Jonathan. Jonathan tells Marie that she is the queen of drama. Marie’s brother Donny stops by during practice.

They are performing the tango tonight. The routine sets up a story. Marie’s moves are sharp. She drops her arms a couple of times, but overall, she looks great.

Len tells Marie that she makes her routines fun. He also refers to her as elegant. Carrie Ann says that Marie reminds her of Lucille Ball… and that’s a compliment. Bruno calls Marie the Meryl Streep of dancing.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance a nine while Len gives it an eight. Marie & Jonathan have 26 points.

Tom and Drew review the current standings.

Let’s see, who do I think will be eliminated tomorrow night? I’m going with Kym & Mark again. At some point, I have to be right. Right?

Join me tomorrow to see if my streak of incorrect predictions continues or if I actually get one right! Also, you don’t want to miss performances by Seal, Miley Cyrus, and her dad Billy Ray. Hopefully I’ll be off of the cold medicine by then. And be sure to check out what Foxes On Idol judge Sandy has to say at I'll Be the Judge of That!

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and reality television. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these and other topics.

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