Dancing with the Stars 5, October 15: Lift-Gate

Last week on Dancing with the Stars, the couples performed the jive or tango; Cheryl & Wayne were put out of their misery and eliminated from the competition. Tonight, the stars and their professional partners take on either the paso doble or the Viennese waltz. The name “Viennese waltz” makes me hungry for Vienna sausages, so we better get started and take my mind off of food!

Tom and Samantha welcome us to the program. Samantha looks great for being a new mom and probably needing some sleep.

The first couple to dance tonight is Kym & Mark. Kym tells us that Mark thinks too much. Mark wears a gizmo of some sort to help with his posture and stance.

The couple is dancing the Viennese waltz to “Mr. Bojangles.” While Kym glides across the dance floor, Mark is more heavy-footed and sloppy. He also does a soft shoe move that is cheesy; however, there is one moment during the height of the dance in which Mark’s posture is superb and he is light on his feet. If he had performed this way throughout the dance, the routine would have been spectacular. It may sound as if I didn’t enjoy the performance, but actually, in my opinion, this is Mark’s best showing so far.

Len tells Mark that he has become a more rounded dancer. Bruno refers to Mark as Bigfoot in a suit, but adds that his dancing is improving. Carrie Ann tells Mark that for once, he didn’t sing to the music while dancing.

Samantha talks to Kym & Mark backstage, and flubs her questions right off the bat. Oh, how I’ve missed her!

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance a seven while Len gives it an eight. Kym & Mark have 22 points.

The next couple to perform is Sabrina & Mark. Sabrina giggles at Mark during practice. Mark scolds her.

They are doing the paso doble to “You Spin Me Around.” What I like about the performance is that Sabrina’s moves are sharp and crisp. She also works her dress into the dance. The routine ends a few seconds off of the music, but other than that, it’s fast-paced and enjoyable.

Bruno tells Sabrina that she was incredible. Carrie Ann says she can tell that Sabrina wants to win the competition. She also mentions “perfection.” Do I smell a goober? Len couldn’t find anything wrong with the performance.

All three judges give the dance a goober. Sabrina and Mark have 30 points out of 30. I’m guessing that this will be tomorrow night’s encore performance, but who knows; there could be more goobers tonight.

Jane & Tony and now set to dance. Jane tells us that she’s an artist. Is there anything this woman can’t do? She and Tony paint with their feet while they dance. I wonder if they will auction off the painting for charity.

They’re dancing the Viennese waltz to “Piano Man.” Jane looks elegant and Tony is dashing. They compliment each other well. Jane’s lines are beautiful. Tony has choreographed a routine that fits Jane perfectly. The performance is dream-like, but I’m not floored by it. I actually think it is the waltz in general that I have issues with and not this performance.

Carrie Ann calls the dance gorgeous, but she felt that Jane & Tony performed an illegal lift. They promise her that they did not do any forbidden moves. Len points out the fact that other couples have pushed the boundaries of lifts and that tonight, he doesn’t have a problem with it. Carrie Ann can’t figure out why. I wish she would just move on from this; if someone is going to cheat or break the rules intentionally, it won’t be Jane & Tony. Len then tells Jane she did a great job. Bruno said that the dance was delicious. Bruno isn’t helping me with my hunger pains.

Carrie Ann scores the dance an eight while Len and Bruno give it a nine. Jane & Tony have 26 points. Samantha shows the couple a clip of their performance and claims that Jane’s feet were both off of the ground at the same time. Jane tells her that one of her heels was on the floor because that is how she practiced. I thought it would take longer than this for me to become completely tired of Samantha, but I’m done with her already. She needs to give it a rest.

Up now are Karina & Floyd. Floyd tells us that he was upset last week after being in the bottom two; he felt like he let Karina down. He and Karina meet with a group of children; it seems to lift his spirits.

They’re dancing the paso doble to an instrumental piece. If you know what it is, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll check the show’s website later tonight for the song’s title. During the dance, Floyd shows his passion; however, his posture is weak. He can’t stop carrying himself like a boxer. The good news for Floyd and his fans, though, is that he shows off his excellent footwork. At the end of the performance, he lifts Karina and spins her. (Of course, I’m watching to see if she has a foot on the floor.) The move is awkward and isn’t executed well.

Len loves the fact that Floyd gives each dance his all. Bruno says that Floyd applied himself and that the paso doble is his dance. Carrie Ann says that the lift the couple did was beautiful (huh?), but questions it. She then explains that if a dancer can’t do a move on his or her own, then the move is illegal. If that is the case, then we’ve seen a lot of illegal moves over the past five seasons. Can I get an amen? Karina makes a noise as if to say, “This is the first I’m hearing of that rule.” Finally, Carrie Ann gets back to the actual dancing and says Floyd’s posture and footwork were great.

Carrie Ann gives Karina & Floyd a seven; Len and Bruno give them an eight. Floyd plugs his upcoming fight. Samantha says something backstage, but I ignore her.

Mel & Maksim are up now. Mel explains that she wants to get better each week. Maksim says he can’t get Mel to focus. The two try to meditate together, but it doesn’t work.

They are doing the Viennese waltz to “Breakaway.” Maksim, in his vest and tie, looks like he’s going to the prom with me, his super-secretive girlfriend. (It’s such a secret he doesn’t even know.) He looks yummy and very dapper.

Oh, and Mel’s dancing is elegant. Seriously, she moves like a dream and her stance is beautiful, but I prefer her when she’s moving quickly. Also, the one thing that bothers me about the dance is how it ends; the two stop dancing and walk away. That’s it.

Bruno says that he was swept away. Carrie Ann asks if Maksim lifted Mel. I kid, I kid! She tells Mel that her mouth is like a truck driver’s, but she’s womanly when she dances. She also suggests that Mel work on her spotting; Bruno disagrees. I want to know who peed in Carrie Ann’s cereal today. Len gives Maksim props for his choreography and says, “Bloody good job” to Mel.

Carrie Ann gives the dance an eight; both Len and Bruno give it a nine. Mel & Maksim have 26 points.

The next duo set to perform is Edyta & Cameron. Cameron gets dancing tips from his children. Edyta becomes frustrated as she choreographs the routine. I see a move during practice that could make Carrie Ann grouchy. Let’s find out if it is still in the routine.

Edyta & Cameron are dancing the paso doble. Cameron starts out wearing a Superman cape. He also has a C on his chest. Edyta rips the sleeves off of his shirt. I gag a little. Throughout the dance, it feels like Edyta is going more than Cameron. It’s hard for me to even describe the dance; it’s slow and features several powerful moves, but it doesn’t come together for me.

Carrie Ann says that she was getting into a funk tonight and that Cameron got her out of it. She mentions the lift, but then says she’s going to pass over it. I’m sorry, but if you are going to hound the others for their lifts, then hound Edyta & Cameron as well. Len tells Cameron that he goes with the paso doble like fish goes with chips. Bruno says that it was a job well done. I must have missed something along the way because I was bored by the dance.

Samantha says, “Save me, Superman.” This time, I go beyond gagging and literally vomit. Cameron defends his lift by saying Edyta could do it on her own. OK, now someone has peed in my cereal because all I can think of it how I want Cameron to shut it.

All of the judges give the routine a nine. Edyta & Cameron have 27 points.

The next dance is from Marie & Jonathan. Marie says that the Viennese waltz is going to be difficult for her. Jonathan suggests that Marie try ballet; she joins a kids’ class.

They’re performing to “Fools Rush In.” Marie does a move that requires her to spin and twirl her head at the same time. Jonathan spins Marie on the floor as well. Marie’s lines are improved, but they aren’t nearly as good as they should be. Also, she seems a bit heavy on her feet. The dance ends the same way that Mel & Maksim’s dance ended… with the couple simply walking away. Hey, get back here and dance some more!

Len explains that the dance was lovely and gentle. Bruno expected more from Marie. The crowd boos him. Carrie Ann says that the head twirls were “stripperish.” Forget my obsession with food tonight; I now need a drink.

Carrie Ann and Len score the dance with a nine. Bruno scores it an eight. Marie & Jonathan have 26 points out of 30.

The next dance is from Jennie & Derek. Jennie tells us that her family is making sacrifices for her dancing. She also dedicates her dance to her husband Peter.

Jennie & Derek are doing the paso doble to “Because We Can.” Jennie’s lines are beautiful. She does an amazing job. In fact, I don’t think I look at Derek at all during the performance. I feel that Jennie is the most improved dancer since the start of the competition. Her lines are beautiful and she snaps into her positions. Derek spins Jennie; I can’t wait to hear about this.

Awww, at the end of the dance, she runs to her husband and gives him a hug. The bitterness of the evening has turned into love!

Bruno says that Jennie has improved tremendously and the choreography was super. Carrie Ann mentions the spin; Derek grabs Jennie and spins her again to prove she didn’t leave the floor. Carrie Ann doesn’t care; she scolds the couple anyway. I find it interesting that she didn’t say a word to Cameron about his lift. Len tells Jennie she was fantastic.

Carrie Ann gives the couple an eight. Len (or Lenny, as Jennie calls him) gives it a goober. Bruno awards it a nine. Whoa! Jennie & Derek have 27 points.

The last performance of the night is courtesy of Julianne & Helio. Helio says that he is being hunted. Julianne has trouble with Helio letting go and allowing her to be in control.

They are dancing the Viennese waltz to “Iris.” Helio’s lines are fantastic and his stance is golden. As always, the choreography from Julianne is beautiful; however, there is a move in which Julianne & Helio wipe their mouths. It’s a bit strange. Overall, the dance is elegant and well executed.

Carrie Ann thanks Julianne for keeping her toes on the ground. She also tells Helio that his dancing makes her happy to be alive. I can’t help but giggle a little; I guess it’s better than vomiting like I did earlier! Len says that Helio revved up his engine (Helio’s, not Len’s). Bruno finds it incredible that Helio has never danced before.

Each of the judges gives the dance a nine. Julianne & Helio have 27 points out of 30.

Tom and Samantha review the current standings.

I think that Karina & Floyd will be eliminated tomorrow night. (You know that since I’m not predicting Kym & Mark’s departure, then they will be going.) What do you think? Is this just the beginning of goober season? Will Carrie Ann win back my affection or is she dead to me like Samantha? Come back tomorrow for the answers to these and other questions, and be sure to go to Foxes on Idol for our judges’ opinions on tonight’s performance. For now, I’m going to get a sandwich.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and reality television. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these and other topics.

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