Dancing with the Stars 5, October 22: Spicing Things Up

Tom and Samantha start the show by introducing the couples. There are boobs galore tonight. Speaking of boobs, Samantha sways her hips for us.

Up first are Marie & Jonathan. Jonathan hopes for a goober. Marie travels to Niagara Falls, so Jonathan goes with her. Jonathan comments on Marie’s dedicated fans.

They are dancing the samba to “Crickets Sing for Anamaria.” Marie shimmies and moves her hips, but to me, the dance lacks real substance. It also feels as if it is being done in slow motion. Marie is pleased with her performance, though; she’s bouncing and causes Tom to say, “Oh, dear Lord.”

Len says that the samba is the hardest dance for an amateur to perform. Suddenly, Marie, who is breathing heavily, passes out. Tom takes us to commercial. When the show comes back, Tom tells us that Marie is fine. She and Jonathan wait backstage for their scores.

All three judges give the dance a seven. Marie & Jonathan have 21 points. Marie apologizes for passing out.

The next couple to perform is Jane & Tony. Tony tells Jane that her character this week is Sophia Loren. Jane says that Tony’s teaching method drives her crazy because she can’t ask questions. She finally acknowledges that his way does work.

They’re doing the rumba to “Breathe Again.” The routine allows Jane to show off her flexibility. She also demonstrates great lines. Unfortunately, I don’t feel the romance.

Bruno tells Jane that she reminded him of Edyta. Carrie Ann says that Jane’s body is incredible, but that she needs to work on her spotting. Len compliments Jane on the romance that she brought to the dance.

Backstage, Jane talks about what a wonderful teacher Tony is. She and Tony certainly do fit and work together well.

Carrie Ann awards the dance with an eight; Len and Bruno give it a nine. Jane & Tony have 26 points.

Kym & Mark are ready to dance. Kym suspects that Mark must have a lot of fans since they weren’t in the bottom two last week. Mark wants to have fun and be entertaining despite having to perform the required movements. He and Kym compromise; he’ll be dancing in nerd attire. Oh, the hilarity of it all!

They’re performing the samba to the theme from I Dream of Jeannie. Mark has fun during the dance, but he doesn’t really do a whole lot. Some of his moves involve walking and air-humping Kym; however, he has fun and tries his best. I’m not expecting high scores from the judges, though.

Carrie Ann tells Mark that she liked the dance, but that he has to work on his technique. Len talks about Mark’s feet and how he needs help from a genie with them. Tom points out Heather Mills in the audience and her lack of two legs. (I don’t even know what to say about that.) Bruno explains that Mark will never be Fred Astaire.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno all give the dance a seven. Kym & Mark have 21 points.

The next performance is from Sabrina & Mark. Sabrina is honored by her triple goober. Tonight, they are doing the rumba and Sabrina is a bit uncomfortable with it. Mark’s mom Shirley Ballas stops by rehearsal and gives Sabrina tips; she wants to see drama and passion.

They’re dancing to “Me and Mrs. Jones.” The routine is sexy and Sabrina seems to relax as it goes on. She also performs some intricate moves. At the end of the performance, Tom tells Sabrina & Mark to get a room.

Len calls the couple out on a few over-the-top poses. Bruno argues with him and says that a good trick is a good trick. Carrie Ann says that she sees growth in Sabrina.

Carrie Ann and Len give the couple a nine while Bruno gives it a pump of the fist and a goober. Sabrina & Mark have 28 points.

Up now are Jennie & Derek. Derek tells Jennie that the judges are going to expect a lot from them since they did well last week. Jennie says that she isn’t a flashy diva. Derek says that Jennie has to shake her fun stuff. (I once broke mine.) To help, he brings in Aisha Francis, who helps Jennie work it.

They are performing the samba to “Cosmic Girl.” Despite a few small missteps, Jennie does an excellent job. She seems a little stiff, but it doesn’t stop her from shaking it, moving it, and whipping it up like a soufflé. My boyfriend says that he liked it; there is a smile on his face.

Bruno says that Jennie ran out of steam. Carrie Ann comments on the stumbles that the couple made. Len says the dance was better than Bruno and Carrie Ann gave it credit for.

Carrie Ann and Bruno score the dance with an eight; Len gives it a nine. Jennie & Derek have 25 points out of 30.

The next dance is by Julianne & Helio. Helio explains that he is going to have to act tonight. Julianne tells him to be macho. Helio takes Julianne to the beach to practice and be inspired. He tells us that it took their chemistry to a new level. Prrrrrrrr!

They are dancing the rumba to “Apologize.” The dance is steamy. While Julianne performs most of the moves, Helio does get in a few steps. I would like to see him do more, though, in the upcoming weeks.

Carrie Ann tells Helio that he had no chemistry with Julianne. (Perhaps I mistook their heat for a hot flash.) Len agrees with Carrie Ann; he felt that the dance was too mechanical. Bruno wants to know why Helio looked like he was in pain. Bruno then demonstrates a few moves from his seat.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance an eight while Len gives it a seven. Julianne & Helio have 23 points.

Up now are Mel & Maksim. After the show last week, Mel & Maksim practiced, but Mel became sick. The two also argued, but I’m sure they will love each other again. Maksim goes with Mel to London while she works with the Spice Girls.

They’re performing the samba to “Spice Up Your Life.” The dance is sexy and fun. Maksim’s chest looks great. Mel could improve upon her lines a little, but other than that, she does a great job. I enjoy watching her perform Latin dances; they allow her spunky personality to show.

Len tells Mel that her bum was in gear and the dance was fantastic. Bruno says the dance was the best samba of the night. Carrie Ann calls the dance Mel’s best of the season.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the couple a goober; Len gives it a nine. Mel & Maksim have 29 points.

The last dance of the evening is from Edyta & Cameron. Edyta talks about the love-hate relationship in the rumba. Susan Lucci attends practice to give Edyta and Cameron help. Cameron wants the judges to need a cold shower after his performance.

They’re dancing to “I’ve Got to See You Again.” The dance begins with Cameron taking off his jacket seductively and Edyta working her itty-bitty costume. People 100 miles away can feel the heat from this routine; some of Edyta and Cameron’s moves should be outlawed! This is my favorite dance from Cameron. He moves incredibly and shows off his acting ability as well.

Bruno talks about Cameron’s hard work. Carrie Ann asks Edyta about her foot leaving the ground. Why didn’t she talk about this last week with the couple? Len tells Edyta not to choreograph one-legged spins into her routines anymore; they get on his nerves.

Backstage, Cameron thanks his wife for being understanding after the routine. He also says that Edyta’s foot did not leave the floor.

Carrie Ann gives the dance an eight; Len and Bruno give it a nine. Edyta & Cameron have 26 points out of 30.

Tom and Samantha review the current scores.

I predict that Kym & Mark and Marie & Jonathan will be in the bottom two tomorrow night, and that Marie & Jonathan will leave the show. I am on a roll, so who knows, I may be right this week!

Tune in to ABC tomorrow evening for the results show featuring J. Lo and then return to RNO as J. Jo (that’s me!) recaps all the action for you. In the meantime, check out what our judges have to say about the performances on Foxes on Idol. If you don’t, there will be no goobers for you.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and reality television. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these and other topics.

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