America’s Next Top Model 10, Episode 4: Silence of the Lambsby Kari Kennedy -- 03/13/2008
Last week was the always exciting makeover show. Allison was the main target of Fatima’s tirades. And Allison’s attitude and poor performance on a boat shoot were enough to have Tyra cut her adrift. Who will go this week?
Also last week, I was curled up in front of a fire with snow falling in the yard. This week, it’s back to shorts, 75 degrees, and the windows open while I watch ANTM for you. In fact the crickets are so loud, I may just have to close the windows so I don’t miss any of the juicy dirt these girls will give me! Don’t you just love the springtime temperatures and model mood swings?
We start out the night with early confessionals from Dominique, who is overconfident despite her bottom two performance, and from Lauren who is underconfident despite her being called first by the panel. Irony and contrast noted.
Amis is clowning around in the house while Fatima sits on the sideline pouting that whatever Amis does is annoying and she doesn’t think she’s taking it seriously enough. Fatima is just itching to piss off everyone this season, including her recapper! Really Fatima, get over yourself already! You’re taking this show and yourself too seriously.
While I’m here on my short soapbox about Fatima, I want to formally lodge a complaint about the way Tyra Mail is coming across this season. This time around, it’s not on cute stationary or tucked in fashion magazines, it’s being scrolled across a digital message scroller-thing. Every one of the girls says the words out loud at the same rate as the message is scrolling. I wonder if some of them are just mouthing the words they can’t read. It’s the most annoying thing so far this season.
Thanks for letting me vent. Back to the recap.
The girls vocalize the scrolling Tyra Mail; Claire deduces that they’ll be doing something on a fire truck. Considering the mail hinted at heat and getting hosed, I can’t imagine what else it could be and still be somewhat of a family show, can you?
Boy, nothing gets past Claire, does it? They do end up at a fire station where we see a couple of young stud firemen come down the pole, jump into the truck, and speed away with sirens blaring. Closely on their heels, Ms. J. Alexander shimmies down the pole as well, just in time to teach them this week’s runway lesson!
The girls have just 90 seconds to strip down and get into the costumes they’ll be modeling in the fire house. The “boots” are short, granny boots that are made to look sort of like the rubber boots firemen use. Cute! Speaking of shoes, Ms. J has the girls line up for inspection and quickly he sees that Fatima still has on the heels she came in with. He calls her out and she giggles that she like the shoes she’s wearing. He’s having none of that and is not happy already. This can’t be good.
Oh but wait, Ms. J has more for the girls. They will have to model in front of an audience. Who else would be good for watching runway training other than the very firemen in full gear who work in that house. Mmmmm… I like firemen! This could be fun for everyone!
Katarzyna is up first. She does a decent job, but to me she seems to bounce too much. Ms. J cautions her to watch out that she shimmies at the end of pose. Claire looks bald under her miniature fire helmet, but otherwise struts well. Several other girls, including my now-favorite Whitney, perform their walks well. And then there’s Dominique.
When I started the preview article, I really liked Dominique and hoped she’d go far. But that was before she opened her mouth. Every time this girl opens her mouth, something arrogant or stupid just seems to fly out. She works her walk and seems to be doing well, but then she starts bragging that she thinks she has the best walk. Right behind that, Whitney comments, “I’ve seen drag queens that walk better than Dominique.” Snort! And that’s why I love Whitney!
Oh but that’s not all! As Dominique returns down the “runway,” she lingers at the end, facing the firemen, and poses provocatively. Ms. J completely makes a farce out of telling her she might as well be a stripper. The bowm-bowm music plays behind him and the firemen are laughing nervously. I’m cracking up. He’s such a delight.
A few more girls go before we get to Fatima, the other girl who is just too much to handle. She looks like she’s marching, despite Ms. J telling her not to do just that. He’s not happy with her at all tonight. She’s obviously not listening to him.
Lauren is up next and she’s stiff, almost as if she were a Barbie doll trying to walk. One shoulder is up around her ears. This isn’t her first poor showing on a runway, if you can remember back to the first full episode. She’s not graceful, so she’ll have to practice her walk if she is going to make it far. Her pictures won’t carry her alone. Ms. J seems to think that she does have some potential, though.
Which is completely unlike the last model to go through, Amis. Amis doesn’t exactly walk down the runway, she skips. To channel Simon Cowell, she’s just atrocious! Why would someone think they could get away with this kind of behavior? Ms. J is less than impressed with this display as well. If I were a guessing girl, I’d say that unless she and Fatima really rock the photos this week, their attitudes and behavior in the runway class will come back to haunt them at panel.
Back at the house, a cat fight erupts. In a nutshell, Aimee isn’t comfortable being naked in front of everyone so she “calls” that she wants to take a shower. With only three bathrooms and eleven girls, someone else gets upset that they might have to use that bathroom while Aimee is in it. Dominique jumps on Aimee basically saying that she can’t hog the bathroom. Whitney comes to Aimee’s defense. Everyone else, including Fatima, starts attacking Whitney; then she leaves the room. I assume Aimee got her shower in peace and that Whitney doesn’t care what the girls think.
Next up, the girls will be walking in a Tuleh Designs fashion show. Jaslene from Cycle 8 is back to presumably give the girls a few tips. She’s looking prettier, but she’s still way too skinny to me. The challenge involves not only a stellar runway performance, but also includes a quick-change piece in which they must move fast and still look fantastic. The winner gets a shoot with Jaslene in Seventeen magazine.
The audience is waiting and the girls are frantically changing into their outfits. Stacy Ann leads the show and it’s just stunning. Too bad she has such a squeaky voice or I think I’d like her more. She’s followed closely by Whitney in what looks to be a bikini outfit and cover-up. As I just start to notice the pixels, she comes in with a voiceover that she realized she was having a Janet Jackson moment, but she worked right through it without skipping a beat or even flinching.
Lauren speeds through her walk, literally without pausing to pose at the end. A redhead whose name escapes me now does fine, as does Katarzyna. Fatima follows and I notice that her sweater’s buttons are mis-done, which throws off the whole outfit. She walks fast and continues to not enamor Ms. J. He makes the signal to cut her head off. Whoa! I don’t think I’ve seen him so disgusted with any model like this before. Dominique is beautiful, as are Marvita, Claire, and Anya. Amis looks like she has a metal rod stuck through her neck, yet she thinks she’s nailed it. She’s a dingbat.
Katarzyna impressed the judges and wins the award. She gets to pick two friends to go with her and picks Marvita and Amis. Yes, wacky Amis. It’ll be interesting to see how this photo shoot works out, won’t it? Sadly, nothing exciting stands out.
Back at the house, there’s more Tyra Mail which alludes to chops and packing. Hmm… This clue, coupled with the episode title, “Where’s the Beef,” makes me guess that this might be a meaty challenge. Hee hee!
The assumptions are correct as we find out from Jay that the girls will be wearing, you guessed it, beef. Yikes, I gag a little thinking about it, so I can’t imagine what is going through their minds.
The models line up to take on their new costumes. They literally have cuts of beef draped across parts of their bodies. Claire is sent packing first, while Fatima watches from the side. Jay gives Claire a few tips about her legs in relationship to the camera and calls out to Fatima to be sure to listen.
Well, she may have listened about the legs, but she surely isn’t listening to Jay trying to coach her about a strange snarl she has on her face. She keeps that same look through the whole shoot, never softening it. I’m thinking that, like the little temperature button that pops on our Thanksgiving turkeys tells us, Fatima is done.
A few more girls go and do very well. They seem to be fearless! They pose with sides of cattle hanging from the rafters and with more around their necks and waists. It’s incredible how some of these girls are cooking up their work this week.
The music changes from fierce to that campy, clowny tone when in walks Stacy Ann. She looks like she’s going to scream, but I think she thinks she’s trying to look fierce. I’m not sure what’s happening here, other than she’s about as interesting as a rump roast.
Whitney and Marvita broil. Lauren follows, looking afraid at first, but then she digs deep into her loins to much better photos.
Dominique’s shoot is smoking, even to the point where she sits on a large lump of meat in one pose. Gag! Aimee follows and is visibly uncomfortable. She’s going to have to take a big bite out her inhibitions in order to make it much further in this cycle. Amis follows and to be frank, she should probably have gotten Stacy’s clown music.
Enough with the meaty food puns, as the girls are finished with the shoot and head back to the loft for the rest of the night. Lauren is honestly worried that while her shoot might have been okay, that her runway may be enough to send her home.
The next morning, everyone is getting ready, while Amis is still snoozing in the living room. With 20 minutes to go before they all leave, she begrudgingly gets ready, slapping an awful headband in her hair. Her attitude doesn’t seem to be winning over anyone in the house, let alone what the judges might think today. There seems to be enough foreshadowing with Amis’ and Fatima’s antics that I still think that they might be on the chopping block tonight.
At panel, Stacy Ann is up first. Her photo is forgettable. She seems lost in the background. Whitney follows with an amazing photo (yay Whitney!). Aimee looks stiff and amateurish. Katarzyna’s photo is neither bad nor great, but there’s something odd with her eyes. I wonder if the judges will say something about this later?
Fatima looks like a pug dog with only her lower teeth showing. Her pose is off as well. Paulina asks if they told her to do a face other than the growl and Fatima says that she didn’t hear it. That’s surprising, as Ms. J told her repeatedly to change it.
Anya’s shot is fabulous, as if she owned the shoot. Clair’s shot follows where she’s critiqued that it looks like ‘80s heroin chic. She shows several odd angles with her body, but it does capture your eye. I’m mixed with her photo.
Dominique’s critique is that she looks fabulous and her photo would do any meatpacker’s calendar proud. Huh? I do have do admit, her hair color, lightened a bit from the makeover last week, does look better. It doesn’t look quite as harsh on her.
Lauren shows us that, while she’s not runway material yet, she’s stunning in front of the camera. Hers is my favorite photo this week so far. I think she’ll be safe for a while, but she’ll have to work hard to keep up on the runway.
Amis flits down towards the judge with that awful headband. She looks like an Olivia Newton-John Physical video reject. She’s such a dork. Her photo is a mess and she’s not even looking at or near the camera. She has no control.
Marvita is up last and like Stacy Ann, her photo is okay, but forgettable.
After seeing all the photos, my inexperienced opinion says that Lauren, Whitney, and Anya took the best photos this week. Lauren and Whitney had problems on the runway, which will knock them from being top model for the week. On the other hand, my theory about Amis and Fatima continues. Neither took good photos. Neither did well at the firehouse runway practice and neither did well on the runway. They’re doomed. Of the two, Fatima has just a touch more drive to stay. Let’s see how the judges order the girls this week.
The judges grill each of the girls’ photos, some are well done. Tyra calls the girls in order, starting with Anya, then Whitney (no mention of boob-gate?), Katarzyna, Claire, Dominique, Stacy Ann, Lauren, Marvita, and Aimee. This leaves Amis and Fatima sizzling on the flames for the last spot. Fatima looks genuinely scared, but Amis is clueless as to why she might be there.
Finally, Fatima’s name is called to stay. I’m not surprised; she is visibly relieved that she will continue on. Amis bounces out of the room and is appreciative for the time she’s spent. She didn’t seem to fit in and was finally taken of the fire.
Next week on ANTM, there’s a pose-off on the streets of Brooklyn. Whitney and Dominique face off.
Thanks for putting up with the meaty, foodie puns tonight! They were just too hard to resist, and why not?
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Kari is a retired Air Force Hurricane Hunter who is down for big adventures. Please send any comments, questions, and thoughts about the bootees to Kari at email@example.com.
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