Dancing with the Stars 6, April 1: Dance the Mango!

Happy April Fool’s Day and happy birthday to my mom! Last night on Dancing with the Stars, the couples completed either the jive or the tango. I recapped all of the action for you since I'm such a nice person. Tonight, Kylie Minogue makes an appearance and someone's time on the dance floor comes to an end.

Before we begin, I want to thank all of you who asked about Yoko. She’s doing much better and is like her old self again!

Also, congratulations to Tony and Marissa; according to People magazine, Tony and his wife Lina are expecting twins. Also, Marissa and her husband Judah are having a son via a surrogate.

Tom and Samantha kick off the program. Julianne has ditched her wig.

Len tells us that he, Carrie Ann, and Bruno have selected Steve & Jonathan to perform tonight’s encore dance. Yes, you read that correctly. The “mango” as Tom refers to it, is funny. Steve does his best to keep his genitals away from Jonathan’s. At the end of the dance, Steve & Jonathan end up on the floor. They also bump chests.

Tom and Samantha review the current standings.

Tom and Samantha now name two couples that are safe. They are Kristi & Mark and Julianne & Adam.

Hey, I just noticed Derek is here tonight. Apparently, he went to the hospital earlier today to have a neck injury checked out. It’s good to see that everything is OK with him.

Kylie takes center stage and sings “All I See.” Well, all I see are Kylie’s hooker shoes. Seriously, those things are ridiculous. The tune is catchy, but I don’t really care for the performance. I hope you enjoyed it though.

The audience tells us what they thought about last night’s dancing. People refer to Shannon as hot and Mario as amazing. They also don’t appreciate what was said to Marissa by the judges.

Tom and Samantha reveal two more safe couples. If you are fans of Priscilla & Louis and Marissa & Tony, then you’ll be happy to know they are moving on in the competition. Marissa & Tony are thrilled and surprised. That’s great for them, but bad news for someone else.

Backstage, Samantha bothers the stars who are safe. Adam gives Priscilla and Kristi crap for being so much better at dancing than he is. He also harasses Marissa about getting a stay of execution from the governor. Samantha has met her match in Adam.

In a clip that is supposed to be funny, we learn what the stars do in their free time to relax. Steve raps, Kristi participates in hot dog eating contests, and Marlee works as a volunteer police officer in the narcotics division. Check your calendars, everyone!

Members of the Alvin Ailey American dance theatre perform. The dance and accompanying music are very soulful.

Kylie returns and sings “Can’t Get You Out of My Head.” I once had a stain that I couldn’t get out of my rug, but that’s neither here nor there. Kylie has traded the hooker shoes in for an entire hooker ensemble. Julianne & Mark dance, and what they are wearing is not much better. All I’m going to say is, “neon green.”

Samantha talks to Cheryl & Cristián and Anna & Steve. Steve gives props to the people who make the clothing for the dancers. I wonder if those are the same people who put together Julianne’s & Mark’s outfits for the last dance.

Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert, tells us what she thinks of the pairs. Seriously, this is four minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. What it boils down to is that based on a compatibility test, Kristi & Mark are the perfect pair.

Goody! Tom and Samantha tell us that Edyta & Jason and Marlee & Fabian are safe. Samantha looks especially serious tonight; I guess this is her training to be a journalist.

They also tell us that Cheryl & Cristián and Shannon & Derek are safe. That means Anna & Steve and Karina & Mario are in danger of leaving the competition.

After Len praises everyone, we learn that Anna & Steve have been eliminated from the competition.

Samantha annoyingly drags Steve onto the floor so that she can “interview” him. I’m sorry, but if the show didn’t waste so much time on crap (Dr. Pepper, anyone?), then people would have enough time to say goodbye. I’m annoyed. It’s so bad that even Yoko and my boyfriend Tony are bothered by the filler and the ending of the show.

Tom tells us that if things seemed strange, then we should look at the calendar. Oh, the fun just keeps on coming.

Join me next week as the dancing and filler continues. Hey, if I have to sit through the bad to get to the good, so do you!

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. If she were in a room with the three of them, she might explode. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these individuals and other topics.

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