Making It Big, Episode 1: Bork! Bork! Bork!

On the inaugural episode of Oxygen’s Making It Big, three chefs vie for the chance of a lifetime. I can tell I am going to get sick of Peter Gabriel’s song, “Big Time” as it is played over and over again. We are introduced to our hosts, Howard Dell and Linda Kaplan Thaler. I don’t know anything about Howard, really, as the website did not even mention him.

Our three chefs are introduced. First up is Michael Williams, a sort of innocuous-looking sort. He’s a little like “frat boy lite,” all the looks, but probably lighter on the idiocy. Next we see Zephyr Paquette. She pretty much looks like you would expect someone named Zephyr to look. Her hair is short and punky pink. Her glasses are heavy black frames with orange-ish coloured lenses. Everything about her screams “alternative with attitude” so, having lived in Seattle for many years, I like her already. Finally, we have Nicole Emery. Nicole looks sweet, with her short-cut pretty brunette hair and smile.

Howard welcomes the three to Making It Big and launches right into the pressure by reminding them that only one of them will make it. He then explains that their work will be scrutinized by two demanding and discerning experts. The first, Linda Kaplan Thaler, is well known in the advertising industry. Few know better how to make it big than her, we are told. This is quite true. As I mentioned in my preview article, Linda is responsible for some of the country’s most memorable jingles and advertisements. We get a clip here of a woman washing her hair and moaning a la When Harry Met Sally. Yes, this is the woman responsible for putting Clairol Herbal Essence back on the market. Since I had thought this shampoo should have died a horrible death back in the ‘70s, this is truly a testament to her talent, in my opinion!

Next, Howard intones, we have the pleasure of including Christopher Myers as a guest judge. Let me note that Christopher is not listed under the bios on the website. Instead, we get the bio on the man the winner will be working for, Chef Daniel Boulud. Fortunately, Howard introduces Christopher, so let me fill you in. He owns three highly praised restaurants in Boston, including Radius, and will know a great chef when he sees one. His restaurants are world-renowned and have won numerous awards. We cut to Christopher, who explains that he looks for the same thing in a chef that he looks for in a dish - passion, balance and something different, something he hasn’t seen before. Sounds like good criteria to me.

Howard finally explains the reward to our three chefs. The winner will earn the right to apprentice with Master Chef Daniel Boulud. He owns four acclaimed restaurants and has marketed himself into financial security. Er, I mean, he has a signature line of cookware, cookbooks, and is also world-renowned. While the contestants are still reeling, Howard explains that they will be placed into a kitchen they do not know, with staff they have never met, and will have two hours to make a three-course meal for four people. In addition, there will be a whole platterful of ingredients they will not know until their two hours starts, and they must use something of all of them. They are given this task the night before, so they have a whole evening to fret.

Michael is first up the next day. We learn that Michael is twenty six, and six years ago, being a chef was just a dream to him. He was almost killed in a car accident (cheesy and unnecessary cut to him driving a car) and realized he had so much to do and experience. He believes you should always be giving 100%. He quickly completed a three-year culinary course in less than three years, and was chosen today because of his rapid rise in the culinary world. Cut to his boss, who says that Michael gets very frustrated when things do not happen as quickly as he would like. Don’t worry, Michael, life beats patience into you over the years.

We get our first look at the ingredients, as they walk Michael into the kitchen and explain his task again. I am positive I shall butcher some of the names, so bear with me. We have chanterelle mushrooms, sea scallops, trout, duck, fennel, arborio rice, green papaya, leeks, and probably some items I missed. The assignment is to create a meal that Christopher would put on the menu at Radius. Michael starts off by asking a helper where the cutting boards are. He then asks someone’s name and tells her to start peeling and cutting potatoes. We cut to Linda and Howard, who are observing, and Linda tells us that she wishes Michael had taken a few minutes in the beginning to do some positive team-building. Next, we cut to Michael in a post-session interview with the camera, where he mentions he planned on doing just that, but lost his train of thought in the adrenaline rush.

Back in the kitchen, Christopher is hovering over Michael. As Michael is cutting the trout, he nervously jokes he does not want to cut himself on national television, but then he does just that. Christopher is all over him about that, telling him not to touch the food until it is cleaned, bandaged and finger-condomized. If you don’t know what a finger condom is, it’s essentially what it sounds like - a plastic covering for one’s finger to protect it from infection or spreading germs. About this time, Linda notices that Michael still has one assistant not doing anything. She feels he should delegate more. Michael has still not adequately taken care of his wound, in the eyes of Christopher, who is directing the situation and flustering Michael. Linda says the pressure and tension are palpable.

Christopher, still instilling fear in our boy, asks Michael what he will be making and asks what should a good chef do when making a new dish for a restaurant? Run it by the owner is the quick reply, to which Christopher not-so-humbly reminds him that he’s right here. Michael launches into his proposed menu which includes some sort of fancy-schmancy salsa. Christopher wrinkles his nose at the word “salsa” and tells us he does not envision salsa ever being served at his restaurant. Can we get more pretentious? Now, we get to see the Master Chef as we cut to a room where he is watching from afar. He tells us that this bodes ill for Michael, because it shows he did not get to know his target audience, namely the owner.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the finger condom breaks, and a baby finger is conceived. Er, I mean, Christopher freaks out again (and I don’t blame him). He makes Michael throw away one of the duck breasts, leaving him with only three for four people. As if that weren’t enough of a self-engineered Roadblock, Michael’s Roadblock emerges in the form of cuisine writer Jim Poris. The man has an impressive set of credentials, including being a French-trained chef and senior editor at Food Arts magazine. He will be writing about the food, we’re informed, and I’m sure a little part of Michael dies from overstress. Cut to Linda, who tells us adversity makes us stronger. And what is more adverse than a critic, eh?

With ten minutes to go, Michael is down to the wire and floundering about with the chocolate fondue he is making. It’s taken more time to type this than it has to film it, and we head off to commercial with some dramatic music and teasers.

And we’re back, Four Diners, Three Courses, Two Hours, One Opportunity to impress. Do you think Linda wrote that? It’s nicely methodical and numerical, for the anal retentive amongst us. Now, out comes Chef Michael to present his dishes. Linda likes them. Jim says the flavor is not “clean” and it is underseasoned. Uh-oh. Christopher enjoys the salsa, but says they would never have called it that. We hear that the duck is not rendered well, but then we cut to a post-session interview with Christopher who says he did not expect Michael to pull it off so well. Of course, the stress is not done, as Michael’s dessert is being persnickety in the kitchen. Finally it makes it out, but is not very well received. Christopher says Michael probably thinks the whole thing was a train wreck (I did!) but it actually went well.

We’re done with Michael, and we’re on to Nicole Emery. Nicole was born to cook, we’re told, and she memorized her first recipe at age five. She is now approximately thirty and recently lost the Executive Chef promotion to someone else. Her boss says she is almost “there” but doesn’t handle pressure well. As they bring Nicole in, she immediately talks to her staff in an upbeat positive way, a fact that Linda does not overlook. However, Linda does note that Nicole seems to be almost TOO worried about communicating, and that can also lead to problems. When Christopher wanders in to put his pressure on her, he asks if she looked at his website for Radius the night before. She had not, but she saw the menu and thinks it has a “rustic” feel. Judging from Christopher’s disdainful reaction, this was a bad word to use. An assistant brings something to her with questions, and Nicole reacts in a wishy-washy manner. She has difficulty conveying her intentions, and then lamely, almost apologetically, asks the person to do it again.

About this time, some leeks hit the floor. As a former restaurant manager, my rule of, “when in doubt, throw it out” comes into play. Not for Nicole. She heads off to give them a good washing in the sink. Christopher stops her, but actually vacillates right along with her, then allows her to do it, as long as she totally cleanses them. These items were dropped in a high traffic area. I’m disgusted. Next, we see her with the wine as she mimes a drink. She probably needs one about now! Christopher comes in now and begins pressuring her about her plans. As she tells him, she is barely comprehensible as she insecurely shares her intentions. She laughs nervously, doesn’t make eye contact, and makes me want to shake her. Master Chef Daniel, safe in his little room with a TV, shares with us that ten minutes of planning in the beginning could have saved her a ton of time now, as she is disorganized. We cut to her post-session interview and she admits the same thing.

The trout gives Nicole trouble. Honestly, I have no clue what her real Roadblock was, maybe it was the employee coming up with the dropped food. However, the trout was her true Roadblock, or should I say mindblock? The whole “fish thing,” as she says, gets to her. She seems about ready to cry. Everything about her is tenuous and unsure. I think she could break at any moment. She tells us she is usually organized, but not today. Bad day to flounder, eh?

At the dinner table, Christopher snootily says he thinks the food will be a bit more “rustic” than they want. Nice jab, buddy. But, as the food comes out, everyone seems reasonably impressed. Christopher raves about her plum and pecan risotto. He thought she was kidding about putting plum in the risotto, but it works for him! The trout, however, is off on its own, so she has an extra dish. They debate over why, and whether this would be considered a cop out or cheating. She serves scallops with chanterelle mushrooms, the risotto, cherry tomatoes and fennel trout, braised leeks, and cinnamon-scented duck. I begin to get hungry. Unfortunately, dessert is a flop, being essentially a fancy French toast. Christopher says it could not be farther from Radius food. More of the post-session interview, and a disappointed Nicole tells us she could have done so much more, and she wishes she’d done things differently.

At last, the rebel. We’ll see if this will become a series stereotype - the lone rebel against the bland. Zephyr Paquette was chosen for her culinary courage and likes being classified as a rebel. She works in a vegetarian restaurant and has had no culinary school. She finds this to be a benefit, as she thinks “culinary kids” aren’t taught everything they need to be taught. Her head chef feels that if she gets some education to back up her enthusiasm, she’ll go far. Zephyr shows us her latest acquisition, a tattoo of the word “Next” with a forward arrow.

Zephyr does a great intro with her cooking team, introducing herself and instantly establishing this as a cooperative effort. We learn she has not cooked meat in about two years, so will rely on her team for ideas. Linda tells Howard that beyond the pink hair there is an organized person who doesn’t get hung up trying to astound people with herself. She liked how Zephyr made her team part of the decision process from the beginning.

When Christopher comes in and asks Zephyr if she’s looked at the website, her first response is to quickly say she’s not copying anything on the menu. She never does answer, so we’re left not knowing if anyone bothered to use that great tool called the Internet. She then mentions that there was no dessert on the list so she is basically “pulling dessert out of her butt.” While I am amused, I’m thinking it did not go over so well with the high class others, and I’m right. Linda felt it was very workplace inappropriate, especially with a team you do not know. True, but at the same time, it is quite obvious that Zephyr says and does what she thinks.

Christopher tells us she is probably the strongest of the three from a personality standpoint, and the most natural. She seems pretty relaxed so far. We get a cut of her telling us she does not like to work with a sense of separation. They are all equals. Well, that’s not quite true, as Daniel tells us. It is the chef’s job to lead a team. And here comes the Roadblock! One of Zephyr’s helper boys gets on the cell phone. Zephyr calls for him a few times, gives him a chance, and when he keeps talking, she walks right on over, takes the phone, tells the caller that Peter cannot come out and play right now, and clicks the phone shut. She says to turn it off and get back to work. She never loses her temper, but she took control of the situation with her own style. Very well done! Linda definitely appreciates this point, as she tells Howard that no one will probably use a cell phone in her kitchen again.

We’re down to seven minutes for Zephyr. Christopher is nervous, and Daniel mentions that having a good palate is essential for the chef. Uh-oh, can you say foreshadowing? Peter has disappeared again, and when he finally surfaces, Zephyr gets on him a bit more. Linda now is worried. She says Zephyr should have cleared the air a bit to ensure a positive working environment after the episode. As we cut to commercial, I am most impressed with Zephyr. No clue if she can cook or not, but the girl has panache the others lack.

We come back to the dinner, and Christopher is not impressed. He says he has never had anything like it, and he does not mean this in a good way. Linda proclaims to the table that Zephyr took a long time to make it this bad. Oh dear. Looks like Zephyr’s palate is not so great. When we cut to her, however, she’s confident. She was worried, we hear, but she’s impressed with herself, and she thinks it turned out okay. Famous last words.

The next day, our trio gather in front of Howard, Linda, and Christopher. They stand nervously, like criminals awaiting a sentence before the judges’ table. Howard lets them know more about what the winner will receive. In addition to apprenticing with Master Chef Boulud, they will have their work profiled in Food Arts magazine and be enrolled in an exclusive, three-month long course in Lyons, France. They practically drool at his words.

Now, the querying begins. Each contestant is slowly grilled by the panel. Most of the questioning is innocuous and predictable - asking what they would have done differently or bringing up specifics that went wrong in the kitchen. However, Christopher asks Nicole if she would fit into Master Chef Daniel’s kitchen and inexplicably, she cannot get the words out and walks out! I’m stunned. This is a simple question, and it made her not just cry, but leave?! The girl is too fragile. After a commercial break rife with teasers, we return to Nicole steeling herself and coming back to the table. Each contestant is told to state their case as to why they deserve to win. It is their last chance to “wow” the judges.

Michael tells us that he experienced a worst case scenario yesterday. Look at everything that went wrong, he says, and look at how well it did turn out.

Nicole timidly says that nothing went the way she wanted it to, she learned a lot about herself, and she took the biggest risk of her career; she deserves a chance.

Zephyr says she has already won because she did it. Eventually, she tells them, she will get everything she wants. It’s her turn, she’s been doing it, she’s going to keep doing it until she gets all the way. She actually gets a bit choked up.

The chefs are dismissed so the judges can tease us some more.

Michael: He constantly gives himself feedback, is tough on himself and regimented, tough on other people as well. If he doesn’t hang himself, he’ll be a good chef.

Nicole: She’s like fine glass. Yell too much, and she will shatter (no kidding. I could not work with someone that close to tears all the time). There was no stress in her kitchen though, and the two hours flew by like fifteen minutes. They did not think she would sustain that level of poise and confidence.

Zephyr: She deserves it for her potential and confidence, but it depends on if the food is there. She has the chef bravado, but needs to know her capabilities and liabilities.

It boils down to the person who can do food best, we are told. At this point, I know Zephyr is gone. I’m hoping it is Michael then, because Nicole’s delicacy is a hindrance, in my opinion.

The group is brought back in and dramatic music quivers in the background. Michael and Nicole are told they are on the short list, which means Zephyr is eliminated. She gets choked up, hugs them, says “Rock on” and leaves. Cut to her very choked up and telling us she deserved to not be last. She has come close to the top and now fallen again.

We are now told that Daniel will choose. I miss a few minutes due to children returning home, but it is mostly commercials. I get back to the TV just in time to see that the most evil man on the planet, Nicholas Sparks, has a new book out. Next time I feel like sobbing uncontrollably, I’ll check it out. Damn that man and his sentimental books!

Back on topic, we get the building of drama once again as the judges tell both Nicole and Michael how talented they are. At last, they tell Nicole, “Congratulations, you will be Making It Big.” Michael gives her a big hug. She’s teary. Imagine that. Michael tells us he has a whole new perspective. He’s always been hard on himself, and now he realizes he needs to give himself more credit.

Later, in New York City, we see Nicole on the street walking in to meet with Daniel. He is very happy with his choice, stating she is fresh and full of personality. She is shy, but sure of herself. We see him showing her his kitchen, and then Nicole tells us she is happy someone saw something in her, and she is proud of this.

And voila, the first episode of Making It Big is done. So what did you all think of the show and its premise? I’m interested in your feedback! And join me next week as we see who will be Making It Big in the entertainment reporting industry!

while you’re here, be sure to enter the RealityNewsOnline/Making It Big contest!

Heathyr Fields Ford resides in Washington state with her exceedingly patient boyfriend, four awesome kids, two large macaws, and a harassed cat. She can be reached at heathyranne@hotmail.com.

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