The Apprentice 3 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 14: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Bedazzle 'Em

I like tasks like this a lot. Similar to the Burger King task, the teams are on relatively even footing, they have to think creatively, and the outcome of the task is determined more on who had the best approach rather than who wore the shortest skirt or who flirted better with the rock stars.

That said, I’m getting uncomfortable vibes that my Tana-Kendra final may not happen. I just feel that the editing is leading up straight to Craig facing off against Kendra in the final boardroom. Trump and Burnett can do that, unlike Survivor, since each and every elimination is chosen by the producers and Trump rather than the other contestants, so you can set up the finale with the maximum drama. I really don’t have a problem with this – especially because I’ll get to prove how wrong both Betsy and RNO Editor David Bloomberg are for picking Tana to win that much sooner. Plus, I think Craig stands about as much chance of being hired by Trump as I do at this point.

The problem is, I don’t think that’s the RIGHT finale. The two who have performed the best (granted, in this show, that’s not saying much) deserve to be in the final. That’s Kendra and Tana. Hopefully, we’ll only get Craig screwing up a final task, like Omarosa did, but the fear still remains.

Magna:

Craig: While you didn’t annoy me as much as in past weeks, you did present me with much more ammunition in my never-ending quest to unfairly demean you and slander you mercilessly.

First, you chose a different design than Kendra, which is fine, but then you claim she only asked your opinion so she could pick the opposite one. Unless Kendra has psychic powers that the editing cuts out (darn that reality show editing!) she had no way to know that you would pick the opposite one. As Project Manager, she had the tie-breaker. Besides, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but since Romero had on a shirt covered with hearts and his first design was the heart, I might reason that hearts are a large part of his style. Again, I may be reading too much into it. But since your main customers would be Romero’s fanbase, I would make the effort to find out.

In any case, you followed this up by arguing about the price, then demanding that the price stay the same the whole day. That’s one of the stupidest thing that’s come out of your mouth, and that’s saying something. Even IF the rigid price scheme weren’t ludicrous and you should keep the price locked, you were the one who offered discounts out of the blue during the sale – without running it by Kendra. If she’d done that to you, you would have ripped into her, probably with a liberal dose of condescension.

Then, at the end of the first day, you brought up how unproductive the two of you were. Fine – I actually thought you were interested in communication. But then you refused to discuss it further, which showed me one thing. You complained merely to complain. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard it said by managers, “Don’t come to me with a problem if you don’t have a solution.” Your nonexistent to-do list WAS certainly relevant, because you still had time to fix things. To paraphrase Bren from the Pontiac challenge, why didn’t you produce this list before you’re walking out the door? That’s like walking in the door for the big Christmas sale and telling the boss that you have a great idea to advertise it. What’s worse, you did this childish crap in front of Carolyn, probably thinking that she’d be impressed. I somehow doubt it.

OK, so maybe reviewing the episode, you annoyed me more than I thought.

Kendra: Just because you’re my favorite doesn’t mean you get off easy. I wish you could find a way to work with Craig. I know that he’s a jerk and probably would argue that the sun is blue if the alternative were to agree with you, but there are ways to handle people like that. The easiest way (which is still difficult) is to make them think they are getting their way when they’re really not. Sometimes, like picking the shirt design, it’s impossible, but if you pick your battles and find a way to make them happy, you can get what you need out of them.

The idea to email Romero’s waiting list was brilliant. This is why you’re my favorite – you’ve been responsible for more wins than any other contestant in the show’s short history. You’re an idea person, an invaluable asset. And that win in the dogfight had to be tremendous vindication. Let’s hope it’s merely foreshadowing.

Net Worthless:

Tana: I’d like to thank you for demonstrating exactly why you won’t win. How did you ever think trading an hour and a half in a cab for a few little jewels was a good idea? They might as well have been magic beans, for all the good they did you. As my girlfriend said, “Who gets that excited about beads?” I’m amazed you missed the point – the shirts you sold at the Olympics didn’t sell because of the stupid Bedazzler. They sold because they were collectible and unique. The Salt Lake City Olympics will never happen again, and people wanted a shirt to commemorate that. The beads were an afterthought.

You have had a habit of focusing on the little things and missing the big picture. Granted, you weren’t around for the Domino’s task when Stephanie went on her little journey, but Alex was. He expressed to you that it wasn’t a good idea, but you went anyway. He also tried to get you to talk about marketing, but again, I suppose that detail was a little too obvious for you to notice.

If there is an Apprentice 4, heaven forbid, I want every potential contestant to listen well: Marketing. Wins. Tasks. You can have the best product, but if your flyers are sitting in the gutter somewhere because you didn’t bother to find a way to get the word out and you were reduced to passing them out for lack of any better idea, please do us all a favor and just pack up and go home.

Back to Tana, I just don’t see you doing very well in the interviews. Remember that executive last year who tore Jen to pieces? He’s just going to LOVE you. You’re far too “homey” and “sweet” to bust balls in Trump world.

Alex: In my opinion, you’ve been on borrowed time since week one, when you were ineffective behind the counter in the Burger King task. You really haven’t shown any blowaway star quality performance the entire time, although I’m sure someone will email me and tell me I’m wrong there. Hey, don’t worry, doing nothing has worked well in the past – just ask Amy, or Ivana, or Maria. It just doesn’t get you into the finals.

Tana was a lousy Project Manager and was all but BEGGING to be sent home with her Bedazzler side project and “there was no marketing” weak boardroom, but you let her off the hook by just, basically, being yourself. George said it all – she didn’t need to delegate. If you were actually trying to win, you would have done it whether Tana bothered to tell you or not. But you really didn’t care at this point. You didn’t have anything to offer and Trump saw that. I don’t think it had anything to do with forgetting your record. If anything, you volunteered to be fired by bringing up your five-week losing streak. You and Bren must be great lawyers.

I have to admit, though, you provided perhaps my favorite moment of the whole season by giggling about Kendra and Craig being on the same team. It was also one of the smartest moves in weeks, not that it did you any good.

Mike DeGeorge has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management from Christian Brothers University in Memphis, and has almost ten years of management experience. He is also Associate Editor of RNO. Email Mike at mikmaria@charter.net.

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