Big Brother: All-Stars, September 5 — The Demise of Dr. McDreamy

Hello Big Brother fans! Welcome to the final seven days of Big Brother: All-Stars! There’s a lot to get through, so let’s get right down to it. Voiceover guy recaps everything we’ve seen up to now. Four houseguests remain in the house. HOH Mike has nominated Janelle and Erika for eviction. Cue the theme music!

Julie is with us tonight. Darn, I was hoping she’d be all tied up watching Katie Couric’s debut. Won’t even try to describe what she’s wearing, other than to say it would be better suited to hiding in the jungle than hosting this show. She recaps the recap. I’ll spare you a third recap. Then she tells us that the jury members, Marcellas, Howie, and James, were forced to evacuate Casa Sequester in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico due to Hurricane John. Wow! They’ve been moved to a safe location and have since been joined by last week’s evictees, Danielle and Chicken George. The drama was far from over!

We see footage of the winds getting stronger and James says they have a few hours to pack everything up and evacuate the jury house because they are in the direct path of the hurricane. He, Howie, and Marcellas pack up and get ready to go as the rains come. Their new jury house seems to be adequate and Marcellas says, “Now, there’s just Hurricane Howie. Great!” The Jurors lounge by the pool as Howie jumps in. Marcellas says they need more chlorine for the pool and Howie asks if it’s because he’s dirtying it. Marcellas says something in there needs to die. Howie says Marcellas’s attitude needs to die first. Howie asks if he is going to be negative 24/7 for the rest of his life and Marcellas says he’s only negative because he’s around Howie. Otherwise he’s a peach. Howie replies that Marcellas was not voted out because people thought he was a strong player, he was voted out because people hated his guts. James quietly reads his book in the next lounge chair.

Marcellas sits up and asks Howie if he thinks people actually liked him, then says Howie is an idiot. Howie says people hated Marcellas just for him. Marcellas replies, “You are a big, fat, oversized, fingerless, f***ing idiot.” Howie asks him if he’s going to start crying. Howie interviews that he can’t really say anything good about Marcellas. He’s annoying, relentless, and a baby. Howie declares Marcellas the worst houseguest in Big Brother history. Marcellas says Howie is pathetic and all he does is sit around talking about how good looking he thinks he is. The insults continue to fly as James interviews that he would love for Erika or George to come walking through the door because that means Howie would be stuck on them for the next week and he’d leave Marcellas alone. Marcellas and Howie continue to argue and Marcellas declares Howie a “fat bi**h.” Okay then…

The three Jurors wait under a full moon for the next evictee to join them and James says it would break his heart to see Danielle walk through the door. Get ready to be broken, James. Danielle comes through the gate and Marcellas screams, “NOOOOOOOO!” and runs up and hugs her. Howie stands in place, shocked, and James looks extremely angry. Danielle hugs Howie, then runs up to James, hugs him, and says she got scumbagged. She says when she walked through the door and saw the look of shock on their faces; she realized they were really pulling for her. She was honored. The four Jurors toast to losing. Meanwhile, George—wearing a boxing-type helmet on his head—sneaks through the gate, as Howie toasts to seeing “fat a$$ George next.” George opens the kitchen door and says, “Did you say my name?” Danielle laughs as the three guys are stunned.

Howie says he’s a Jedi, he had the Chicken George voodoo doll around his neck, and he had the sense that George would be joining them. George teases Howie for being evicted before him and George produces the DVDs showing what happened in the house the past week. Erika wins HOH and nominates Janelle and George. In the jury house Howie starts with George over his betrayal, and George tells him repeatedly to shut up. Howie—being Howie—does not shut up. Danielle tells Howie to watch the video and George tells him to keep being a 10-year-old. Howie tells George he sucks, as Marcellas smirks and James looks like he’d rather be back in Cabo with Hurricane John. George gets up and walks away as Howie says George was a waste of an HOH. George says he doesn’t have to listen to this and Howie says yes he does, he’s part of the game still. George says Howie is a 10-year-old stuck in a 36-year-old’s body. Howie mocks George’s costumes as George walks completely out of the living room.

Danielle stops them and asks Howie if he is mad because George outplayed him as George returns to the living room. George says that’s exactly what it is but Howie says not at all. George sucked too bad to get nominated, Howie says. Danielle points out that George was nominated several times and George says he is going to get a sucker to put in Howie’s mouth. Have we ever seen this much jury house footage before the final show? Howie tears the George voodoo doll off of the string around his neck and throws it on the floor. He tells George to sit down and watch the video and George tells him to be quiet and he will. James and Marcellas look very frustrated, and James says Howie was out of control. He needs to realize that lying and backstabbing are part of the game and the personal attacks need to stop. George sits next to Marcellas and James asks if they can continue with the video now that they’ve separated the two little boys. James thanks George for remaining an adult as Howie makes another juvenile comment.

Julie says with Janelle and Erika on the chopping block, Will and Mike are confident they will both make it to the final two. But all the houseguests have one thing on their mind—who is going to win the power of veto? Will and Mike talk in the backyard. Will says “Operation Double Date” worked too well. Mike agrees, and Will says he doesn’t know how it worked so well, because “who would want to date us scumbags?” Mike laughs. Will says it started as a joke but it was their smartest move. Mike says, “I mean, there’s no way you go home this week, right?” Will says yes there is, Erika could send him home. She has a strong spirit and is kind of a maverick. She nominated her best friend Danielle, and she could easily kick Will out if she wins veto. Erika joins them in the yard and they assure her that Janelle is going to be evicted no matter what happens. Erika says this is the week she was sent home during her season so she’s nervous. Diary room Erika says she trusts Chill Town as much as you can trust anyone in this house, so we’ll see. Will tells Mike he may be immune this week but he has to be motivated. Mike says none of them can beat Janelle in the finals.

Will joins Janelle in the kitchen and she asks him what Erika is doing outside. Will tells her Erika is moping. Janelle asks if she is complaining and Will says yes. Janelle asks what she is complaining about and Will says, “Life. You. Everything.” He works his magic to turn her further against Erika, to which Janelle replies, “Shut up, bi**h! I’m so sick of her.” As usual, it’s working. So, Will feeds her more dirt. Diary room Janelle says for some reason Erika thinks she can beat Chill Town in the end but she can’t. Will tells Janelle she has nothing to worry about, and then makes the same deal with her that he just made with Erika out in the yard. Diary room Will says Mike is going to continue his showmance with Erika and he will continue his flirtmance with Janelle, just so they will be more loyal to Chill Town. That’s their strategy and so far, it seems to be working.

Nighttime. Janelle and Will retire to the same bed, as Will teases Janelle that she snores. She says she hates him and then quickly admits she doesn’t. Diary room Janelle says Will plays the game unemotionally and she wishes she could do that. But emotionally Will does have her. She has a tighter bond with Will than she does with Erika and Will knows that, so he kind of uses it against her. KIND OF? They flirt in the bed, and Janelle tells Will this isn’t a showmance and she wants to be with him. He replies, “Yeah, right. Yeah, right.” Well, that’s encouraging. I’m so glad that’s over.

It’s time for the final veto competition! Everyone will play, of course. The veto winner holds all the power. That person is not only safe; they could be the single vote that sends someone home. There is a platform set up in the backyard that is divided into four cubicles, each labeled with a houseguest’s name. There is a pool full of colored goo (Green for Erika, Red for Mike, Blue for Will, and Pink for Janelle) in each cubicle, and a wall covered with a black curtain. Mike reads the instructions for “When the Stars Align.” Each houseguest has an identical series of clues in the shape of a star. To answer a clue, they must place the two corresponding past houseguests’ faces on each side of the clue. For example, on the clue “HOH & Evictee, Week 5,” the correct houseguests are Danielle (HOH) and Kaysar (Evictee). Even though some of the clues have more than one correct answer/pair of houseguests, there is only one way to arrange all of the faces in order to correctly complete the entire star puzzle. Starting at the point and going clockwise, we see Alison, George, Jase, Danielle, Kaysar, Marcellas, James, Nakomis, Diane, and Howie. The faces are hidden in the individual goo pools and they may only bring one face to their star at a time. When they think they have it correct, they must press the button located near their goo pool. If nothing happens they must change one or more of their answers. If they hear the victory bell, their star is aligned correctly and they have won the final golden power of veto.

Everyone takes their place, as Erika says going into the game she knew she had to win it to secure her safety. Janelle was really nervous because the stakes were so high and she knew if she didn’t win it, it would be the end for her. And they’re off! Everyone seems to have a bit of trouble getting their black drapes off, but Will quickly retrieves a face from his pool of goo, as does Erika from hers. Mike explains the rules again, as if we didn’t just hear him read them the first time. Janelle says the first thing she saw was the “HOH & Evictee, Week 5” clue and she knew that was either Danielle or Kaysar. The houseguests quickly start placing the faces on their star.

The clues, starting from the top, are as follows:

• Last Group to Enter House
• “Balanced Diet” Partners
• Went Dumpster Diving
• HOH & Evictee, Week 5
• Shaver and Shavee
• Opened Spider Egg
• “Slop Till You Drop” Partners
• Week 2 Nominees
• Never Won Veto
• Never Won HOH

Janelle searches for specific faces to fit the clues, while Mike just wants to get the pictures up there as fast as possible. Will doesn’t seem to have much of a strategy really, though he claims to have been using the same strategy as Mike. However, Will finally admits that he doesn’t care what happens, because he’s not leaving this week. He pauses to brush away a foreshadowing fairy. Erika says her strategy was to start with the easy clues and work her way around to the harder clues. Will pulls Alison’s picture out of his goo and doesn’t recognize her, thinking it’s a picture of Jennifer Aniston. He presses his buzzer and has nine incorrect. That would mean he has one correct. And it certainly is pure accident that he has even one right.

Janelle presses her buzzer and has four incorrect and six correct. Mike presses his buzzer and has seven incorrect and three correct. And he’s actually missing a face. Come on, there are numbers and hooks where all of the faces are supposed to go. Sheesh! These are All-Stars? He continues to press his buzzer with the face missing. Erika has all her spaces filled, but has four incorrect. She rearranges her faces and still has four incorrect. Janelle studies her star and is having trouble getting Diane and Nakomis aligned correctly. Erika is also getting tripped up on the Diane/Nakomis order. She presses her buzzer and has two incorrect. I gotta believe that Diane and Nakomis are sitting at home, taking great delight in tripping up at least two of the final four.

Finally Janelle makes the last switch and wins the golden power of veto. She runs over to Will, kisses him on the lips, and hugs him. Will says this win was huge for him, because he’s guaranteed to be in the final three since he knows Janelle will keep him. He once again pauses to shoo a seemingly wayward fairy. He dumps Janelle into his pool of goo. Erika stares dejectedly at her star and sees her error. She’s frustrated to be so close and not win. Mike presents Janelle with the veto and she says she is relieved and happy. Now she is securing herself in the final three. Erika says this veto was important because not only can Janelle remove herself from the block, but she has the sole vote to send someone home. Janelle will now have to choose between Erika and Will, and Erika is going to have to try to appeal to Janelle’s sense of logic.

The guys head inside as Erika smokes outside and Janelle joins her. Erika says she knows Janelle is evicting her and Janelle asks how she knows that. Janelle says they can talk about it, and Erika points out that Janelle can’t beat Will. She asks if Janelle wants those two against her and Janelle says she doesn’t know. Erika asks if she thinks she can and Janelle says again she doesn’t know, and it’s pretty much anyone’s game. Erika tells her if she sends Will to the jury house they will love her. Will comes outside as Erika says it’s Janelle’s call, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get past fourth place in this house. Back inside, Will tells Mike that the competition had just ended and Erika was telling Janelle she couldn’t beat Will. Mike says it makes him feel a lot better about having to nominate Will. A foreshadowing fairy zooms past his head. Diary room Mike says Erika is grasping at straws, she knows she is the outsider of the final four and he gets to have his cake and eat it too, because Janelle will evict Erika and he can look like the supportive boyfriend.

The girls talk in the HOH room. Erika says Will is a doctor and she really needs the money. Janelle—who is wearing her tiara—says she needs the money too, and Erika says that she can’t beat Janelle in the final two. Janelle says that she doesn’t know that Erika will take her to the final two. Erika offers to give her word on her mother and says she just wants to know if she is going home. Janelle says she doesn’t know yet, she needs to think about it. It’s a huge decision and it’s totally 50/50. Janelle says she has been lied to so many times in the game, and Erika asks her to remember who the biggest liar is. Janelle says she knows and Erika asks who the biggest liar is. Janelle says Mike and Erika tells her to think about it some more. She admits that it’s Will and Erika continues that the two of them will not look her in the eye and say they are going to take her to the final two. Erika promises Janelle that she will not take Mike to the final two. She’s not going out without a fight.

Janelle and Erika carry their talk outside as Mike and Will exercise. Erika says they’ve lied to everybody on their way out the door and why should they just let them get to the final two? She continues that they think she and Janelle are a joke, that they’ve manipulated them. Erika says they have already pitted them against each other and why should they let them continue to do that. Will will tell Janelle how beautiful she is, how smart she is, how funny she is, but he will not take her to the final two. Janelle says she knows. Erika says she will look Janelle in the eye (and she does) and tell her that she will take Janelle to the final two and will kick them out. Janelle asks her to promise and she does. They head inside for some wine. Will and Mike are very nervous about their talk, and Will says he is going home. They’re heading inside to open up the wine, there was no eye contact, and Janelle was the one who suggested going inside. Diary room Will says “Operation Double Date” has become “Operation Double Mistake.” Right now, things don’t look good for him. Mike says, “This is our show, and these bi**hes think they’re gonna try to steal it from us.” Will says he doesn’t know what to do, as Erika and Janelle toast inside to “girls against the boys” as Erika swears again on her mother that she will take Janelle to the final two. Diary room Janelle says she doesn’t really trust Erika but she doesn’t have much choice.

Janelle and Erika can’t sleep, and meet outside to smoke and talk some more. Erika continues her work, telling Janelle she honestly thinks her best move is to vote out Will. She says she is telling Janelle that as a friend and as a woman. She points out all the things Will has done to her in the house, such as promising her that Howie would be safe. Janelle knows. Erika asks why she would trust him with anything else after all that. Janelle says it’s complicated. Erika thinks they are a couple of liars. Janelle asks if they told Erika that she was part of Chill Town and she says yes, then Janelle says they told her that too. They laugh as the realization that they’ve both been told the same things hits them. Cue black and white footage of Chill Town telling first Erika, and then Janelle that they are all cool, they’re Chill Town, they don’t get worked up, and they work by secret ninja moves. They swap stories and realize that they’ve been told the exact same stories. Erika hates them and Janelle does too. Janelle is so embarrassed for her actions, and says she totally screwed up the game. Erika says she did too and they agree that people must have been laughing at them the whole game. Laughing, pulling our hair out at your stupidity, call it what you will... Erika is so pissed and fired up and says they would never bank on the two of them coming together but now they are going to get them.

It’s time to talk to the houseguests! Wow, remember when those couches were full? Julie asks Mike how crazy the week’s worth of action all in one night was for him, because at one point he was in jeopardy. He says it was a very stressful hour and he almost had a heart attack. It was the first time he was on the block and had to survive that so it was extremely stressful. Julie says the four of them have gotten very close this summer; they’ve been housemates, bedmates, showermates. She wants to hear from each of them if they think these bonds will continue outside the house. Will says he and Janelle have gotten close and they will be good friends when the show is over. Janelle agrees. Julie seems disappointed. Erika says she and Mike will definitely be friends for sure. Julie says, “And that’s it?” Erika says she can’t predict the future as Will says he thinks they are going to have a baby. Mike says if he’s in the final two he’ll see how her vote goes. Julie points out that he seems to be saying she won’t be in the final two with him and he replies that he’s just having some fun. Will hates everybody. Julie asks Janelle which of her housemates she is most surprised is not sitting there and Janelle says Danielle. She was a really strong competitor and Janelle thought she would make it to the end.

It’s time for the live veto meeting! Janelle of course saves herself and Will is nominated in her place. Will can’t believe he is nominating him, but Mike points out that it is by default. Julie tells Janelle that the fate of Will and Erika is solely in her hands. The live eviction will take place next!

And it’s live eviction time! But first, Erika and Will get to make their last second pleas. Erika says Janelle is one of the fiercest competitors and is extremely intelligent. She has faith that Janelle will make the right choice. Will says there has been a lot of hatred in the house this summer, and a lot of that hatred is now in the jury house, and it’s directed at him. For his own personal safety, he humbly requests that she keep him away from those people for as long as possible. Janelle laughs. But now it’s time to vote! Janelle votes in front of them and says it’s an extremely hard position to be in, because she’s friends with both of them. Will is the closest person in the house to her, and she feels like she’s made a lot of mistakes in the house. After tonight she’s done making mistakes. For Marcellas and Howie, she votes to evict… WILL! (OK, Susan, you were right. You can mock me at dinner all you want…) Mike says, “Oh my God!” as Will hugs Janelle and then Erika. Mike and Will hug and Janelle apologizes and hugs Will again. Erika tells him to have fun in sequester, and to give Howie a big kiss for them. And with that, Will heads for the toolshed of judgment.

Julie says this is all new for Will, as he says she looks great. Inside the house, Mike looks stunned as he congratulates Erika and Janelle. He shakes his head in disbelief and looks completely shocked. Janelle and Erika say they were so surprised but they deserved it. The girls exchange high fives as Mike sits in the living room. Julie says it looked like Will was on his way to winning this game for a second time, he manipulated everyone all summer, how is it that the puppet master lost control? He says you do the best you can, he came into the house with a big target on his back and it eventually caught up to him. There are only so many lies you can tell. It’s been an interesting experience, and he can’t say he’s surprised. Julie asks if he should have tried harder to win the power of veto, and he says his strategy is to win nothing so he went with his strategy and did the best he could. He did the best he possibly could under the circumstances but if he had won it things would have been different. Obviously, because they he would be the one voting someone out. Julie says it seemed that he had “Operation Double Date” all sewn up, what went wrong. Will says again, you do the best you can. You put all your ducks in a row and hope for the best. Welcome to the Dr. Will Kirby Cliché-Fest 2006! You can’t control everything, but you control as much as you can.

Julie says Will said he had Janelle wrapped around his finger, did he underestimate her? He says he thinks he underestimated Erika. She can plant seeds well and she got inside Janelle’s brain. He thinks this is a decision that Janelle will regret in the future. Julie asks why she will regret it, and Will says because he and Janelle were really good friends and had something very interesting and at the end of the day she is going to look back on this and wish she had made a different decision. Julie asks if this ruins the potential for a friendship down the road, and Will says no, she is awesome, they were all great competitors in the house and everyone did a phenomenal job. It was a great season. Julie says we saw Will flirting with Janelle a lot, set the record straight, was he just playing her? He says a lie can become real but for him it was a game all along. So, as much as he does feel close to Janelle, at the end of the day it was a game. There is chemistry but once he walks out the door it’s a different game. He thinks she probably feels the same way. They were playing each other.

Julie says at the beginning of the summer he told everyone he hated them all and wanted to be evicted, how surprised was he to make it to fourth place? He’s shocked. Mike and Erika have a relationship in the house. Will’s called it a showmance, a flirtmance, a homance, a nomance—what does he think will happen to their relationship in the next week in the house? Will says it’s tough to say, Mike is not the kind of person to anger, but those are two strong women. They will have to do their best to get rid of him quickly. His relationship with Erika is totally up in the air and Will is not sure what will happen. Julie asks if Mike would have made it to the final three in the game without Will. Will says he doesn’t know, he doesn’t think he would have made it this far without Mike, so no, he doesn’t think Mike would have made it this far without him.

It’s time for the goodbye videos! Mike says five years ago the two of them walked into Big Brother 2 and Will left with the money but they both left with something more valuable, which is their amazing friendship. They were the yin and yang in the house and he really hoped it would be the two of them sitting in the final two seats. They almost pulled it off and this was one for the ages. He ends by making a “C” with his hand and saying, “Chill Town forever, baby.” Gag. Erika is up next and she says it looks like the gig is up, he’s been found out and so has Mike. Secret part of Chill Town—they didn’t think that the two girls would get together and talk. She just wanted to tell him that he’s been had. She wishes him fun in sequester, and hopes that Howie doesn’t hurt him too bad. Janelle says he talked her into a lot of things that she wouldn’t normally have done and she’s not very happy about that. She feels like she has made a lot of mistakes in the game and it’s because of him and Mike. He always said that they’ll be great friends outside the house, well if he is a true friend he will be friends with her even though she voted him out. She’s sorry. Julie asks for his final thoughts. He says he’s a competitor in a different way than they are, so he can appreciate and respect what they did. No hard feelings. He’s ready to move on and it’s water under the bridge.

The battle for the final head of household begins, as we see what appears to be some kind of volcanic structure in the backyard. Julie tells the final three to head outside. Since this is the final HOH competition, Mike, the outgoing HOH, will compete. The winner of this final HOH competition will not only guarantee him- or herself a spot in the final two, but will get to choose who they sit next to in front of the jury. This competition will be played in three parts. The winner of round one will automatically advance to the final round, leaving the remaining two houseguests to compete against each other in round two. The winners of rounds one and two will face off in round three. The power is up for grabs.

Welcome to Mount HOH! It’s been an explosive summer for the three of them, and it’s not over yet. They must each climb on one side of the volcano. Once they are up there, they must turn around and face out, with their back to the volcano. There is a key sticking out of the volcano above them and they must grab hold of it. Wisely, they’re all wearing gloves. The object of this competition is to stay on the volcano, holding on to their key. If they let go of their key or their feet touch the mat below they will be eliminated. The last person left on the volcano will automatically advance to the final round of this HOH competition. Everyone gets situated and Erika asks if both hands have to be on the key. Julie says for now yes. Janelle appears very uncomfortable and turns around to face her key. She eventually gets herself set as Julie asks if they all have a good grip on their key. They say yes, and Julie tells them the competition begins now. Smoke pours out of the volcano. Mike says, “Hey Julie? Remember Richard Hatch?” Julie does. Mike says, “They both have to take me to the finals,” and jumps off the volcano! In the process of looking to see what Mike has done, Janelle takes one of her hands off of her key. Erika tells Janelle that Mike got down, as he says the two of them can’t take each other. He says they won’t make that mistake, Janelle made the smartest move tonight and she can’t throw that away, she has to take him. Erika says he played them the whole game and they can’t take him. Janelle says she is holding on (which might not matter if the producers decide that taking her hand off the key a minute ago cost her this part of the competition) as Mike says he is ready to play in round two. He tells Janelle that Erika will make her own deals and she is playing Janelle too.

Julie says Mike has been eliminated from this round and the ladies have a tough night head of them. Things are about to erupt! However, the producers reviewed the clip during the commercial and saw that when Mike jumped off of the volcano Janelle did not have both hands on her key. She has lost this part of the HOH competition, leaving Erika as the winner of round one. Janelle asks when she took her hands off but Julie does not answer her. Janelle says she did not take her hand off. Mike sits on the couch and seethes. He and Janelle will compete in round two to decide who will face Erika in the final round.

Thursday will be another live show, where we’ll find out who wins the final HOH, and that person will cast their vote live to decide who goes with them to the final two. Mike DeGeorge will be here to recap all of that action for you, and since there doesn’t seem to be a Sunday show this week, I’ll be back next Tuesday to once again bring you the finale of our long, hard slog through summer in America’s favorite fishbowl. Or spider tank this season, I suppose. As always, stay with RealityNewsOnline for all things Big Brother: All-Stars! Ciao!

Sandy Lamparello is an Assistant Editor for Reality News Online and a Legal Editor for a publishing company in Washington, DC. You may reach her at realitytvjunkie@gmail.com. Ciao!

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